Racism: Personal Stories
Published July 4 to emphasize that the words "....all men are created equal...." must apply to everyone regardless of race.
Published July 4 to emphasize that the words "....all men are created equal...." must apply to everyone regardless of race.
Preface
I became aware of the African American Museum in Philadelphia (AAMP) shortly before the opening of the National Museum of African American History & Culture (NMAAHC) in Washington DC. I wasn’t able to get tickets for the opening weekend but I heard AAMP would be live-streaming the opening ceremonies. I thought that would be a way to see the opening and meet some new people. That put me on AAMP’s mailing list and I discovered they have very interesting programs and exhibits. One that caught my attention was “AMPLIFY! Black Women Of The Movement Symposium: This free, day-long symposium celebrates the impact of Black women who have helped to reshape the American framework, but whose contributions are often overlooked and ignored.” As my work moves more towards topics of social justice, I thought this might be a good opportunity for a photo essay. I reached out to AAMP and after reviewing my website, they graciously invited me to participate.
I knew going in this would be a very different situation for me. My work is based on detailed interviews and extended experiences. But this was a full day of high level rapid fire presentations. And I knew from the opening bell I was having a crisis of understanding about what I was hearing and that led me to my favored outcome, a story-within-the-story: “I don’t understand racism”! Not understanding racism is a bad thing, but knowing I don't understand it is at least a step in the right direction. And I’m guessing if I don’t understand it, there are probably other people in the same situation, and that’s the trigger for a photo essay, an important outcome from the Amplify symposium.
Introduction
Introduction
The majority of attendees at the Amplify symposium were African American women. There were a few African American men and a few white women, but I was probably the only white man. I couldn't help thinking back to my photo essay: “Women’s March on Washington” which I described as “Intoxicating” because I was immersed in a huge group of people who think like I do. But as pleasurable as that was, a singleminded point of view limits the ability to grow which was the key message in that photo essay.
At the Amplify symposium, it appeared intoxicating for most of the attendees based on the enthusiasm they expressed. While I was happy to be there, I felt like a fish out of water. I realized soon after the symposium began that I was hearing things I simply didn't understand or couldn't relate to. But as I looked around, it seemed like everyone was nodding in agreement. What we were hearing was much more than very successful black women talking about their accomplishments. It was accomplishments driven to overcome the oppression of racism- for African Americans in general, and for African American women in particular. While the audience seemed to take a great deal from the symposium, in terms of impact and growth I may have had more to learn than anyone else in the room.
I had to accept that my understanding of racism was flawed. The standard definition of racism reinforces the problem: “Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior”. Racism is defined in terms of those who express and act on those beliefs. While that makes complete sense, it ignores the experiences and feelings of people who are the recipients of racism. It was this level of understanding that was lacking for me.
One speaker said: “After Katrina I was in a lot of airports; there were all these white people and I thought I might get lynched”. I knew Katrina had profound impact on African Americans because of the lame response to the disaster (structural or institutional racism), but the fear of being lynched is something that would never have crossed my mind- not in the twenty first century… I lamented about my lack understanding to an attendee who kindly explained: “You don’t have the target on your back so you don’t see the shooter!”
Do African Americans go through life feeling like they have targets on their backs? Does my surprise and lack of knowledge suggest I’m a racist? How would I know if I’m a racist? It’s easy to convince myself that I’m not. I get angry when I see acts of hate against African Americans and despair at the ongoing poverty so many African Americans endure. I have African American friends and have had many African American colleagues over the years. In my work with homelessness I interact with many African Americans. I adore President Obama and I marched in the MLK Day parade in Philadelphia this year. I’m always polite.
But in reality, I live a white life. I've never lived in a diverse community. My professional career has been largely white. I don't have any close African American friends with whom to share personal thoughts and experiences. Beyond my photo essays, I’ve never taken any significant actions to support African Americans. I've been inundated with negative stereotypes from the media and thoughtless people. So no wonder I was shocked to hear what speakers were saying at the AAMP symposium.
On top of that, I had no real understanding of slavery until last fall when I went to the National Museum of African American History & Culture to do a photo essay (“NMAAHC: A Vision of Freedom Made Real”). Somehow I was never educated on the realities of this dark episode in American history and how its remnants continued into the twentieth century and beyond- I knew about Rosa Parks but not Emmett Till. Maybe I was absent from school when that lecture was given. Maybe a part of racism is that white people are insulated from the truth. Some say white people are in denial which is certainly true for some. But you have to know something in order to deny it. Maybe I’ve just filtered it out until now.
This photo essay is for people like me who hate racism in our society, but don’t know what to do about it or even how to think about it, and who have no idea what African Americans are really experiencing. We might assume African Americans who seem successful and happy are not experiencing racism- but we really don’t know their truths. It’s for people willing to listen with empathy to other’s feelings. It’s a start for dealing with racism at an emotional level for people who are open to it and willing to engage their own emotions. Sure, lots has been written about racism, but hopefully this photo essay will reach some people who will be touched by the personal stories.
I interviewed just eight people, attempting to have as much diversity as possible: age, gender, economic situation. As a very small group limited to the Philadelphia area, this does not in any way represent the totality of the nearly forty million African Americans across the United States. What is undeniably true is that each of these people presents the truth of their own experience. There is one theme that rings loud and clear even in this small sample- racism is a burden on the shoulders, or perhaps a target on the backs, of many if not most African Americans. This is a burden I don't feel in my life, and maybe that’s the best definition of white privilege. This understanding becomes more important as the political winds have tragically shifted and racist attitudes are once again coming to the surface, not to mention the targeting of other religious and ethnic groups.
Now, the "Personal Stories".
*****
Mr. Ivan Henderson
Vice President of Programming
African American Museum in Philadelphia (AAMP)
Ivan Henderson (40) resists racism through optimism: “I’m a silver linings person; I might feel something negative, but I reflect further: ‘That person is racist- what’s the prize, what did they just win?’; I fly above those clouds; I refuse to let them have power over me.” His leadership at AAMP supports the mission to “engage diverse communities in appreciating the Black experience through the narrative of art, history and culture”… Ivan is pictured reflecting in front of Reverends King and Abernathy speaking to white people about discrimination. (Background image: “Waging Peace”, an American Friends Service Committee exhibition at AAMP)
Ivan identifies as a descendant of enslaved Africans. His awareness of skin color came at 5-6 when he saw pictures of himself at 2-3 with his white babysitter: “I loved her so much, but adults would say things like: ‘You’re with your white girl’; I felt embarrassed that I liked her; people who make these jokes don’t know what they’re saying, but it plants a seed.”
Of his many experiences with racism, there was a stinging moment at his New England prep-school: “I stood at the mailbox with a white classmate waiting for our Harvard decisions; I got mine, but there were no letters for him… When he saw I got in, he got really angry: ‘It’s because you’re black, isn't it?’- he stormed away… It crushed me because we had been teammates- buddies; I thought after four years at a mostly white school, I had reached a place where folks would see beyond color, but this reduced me to being a black guy and you’ve stolen something from me.”
Ivan emotionally described a time of self awareness about racism: “The most conflicted I felt was post 9/11... I’m a pacifist and never considered enlisting, but if there was ever a time when we needed to protect ourselves, that was the time because it showed anyone can be targeted from hatred… I wrote a song about seeing expressions of patriotism in neighborhoods that had never been patriotic before; the attack galvanized us- people felt more American than ever… But once that feeling wore off, it made clear what I hadn't felt before- I was so caught up in the all the lives that were lost in the transatlantic slave trade and in good old American racism, that I hadn't felt patriotic in the past; what 9/11 excited in me made me understand what I had been missing- then I came back to my righteous senses.”
When he experiences racism: “I feel fear, anger and sadness; it’s like experiencing the death of a loved one; it’s the death of an opportunity for me to interact in a positive way with whatever individual or institution was involved- it makes me sick and angry inside.”
His emotion towards racists: “It varies, but the baseline is pity… Things change as you get older- I was a lot more liberal minded before I got married and had children; now that I have kids I’m cautious; maybe I’m indulging something I shouldn’t, but anger is a bigger part of what I feel now- especially trying to protect my wife and children.”
Ivan's experience with respect that should be a automatic for everyone, but it's not: “Two years ago during the height of the then-new discourse about Black Lives Matter, I was pulled over by a cop (I get pulled over more frequently than I should be like once or twice a year)… He came to my window and called me sir, looked me in the eye and was polite; there was something he could have written me a ticket for but he just gave me a warning: ‘Just get it fixed’… I sat there for a moment- I just had an interaction with a cop who treated me with respect- he called me sir, Mr. Henderson: ‘You have a good day’; I was blown away- I’ve never had that happen with a police officer… I wanted to flag him down to tell him that people need to see how he did his job just now, but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it or have it turn negative… It’s just a shame I have to feel this way- I’m going through my memory banks about the times I’ve been pulled over, and at best I’ve been treated like an annoyance, and not with respect, ever!… I called my wife: ‘You won’t believe this’!!”
*****
Ms. Stephanie Cunningham
Curator of Education
African American Museum in Philadelphia (AAMP)
Stephanie Cunningham (31) resists racism in many ways including the celebration and preservation of African American culture: “We celebrate a culture that we’ve been taught is bad: black is bad, the way we’re shaped is bad, our features are bad- we resist by celebrating who we are.” She celebrates and preserves in many ways including her role at AAMP and the creation of “Museum Hue”, an organization that increases the visibility and viability of people of color in arts and culture… Stephanie is pictured leading Teen Night at AAMP.
A child of parents from Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago, she experienced the impact of skin color at an early age: “I was darker than other family members and got comments like: ‘You look like your mom but you’re dark’- I didn’t know why that needed to be added; strangers and neighbors treated my lighter skinned cousin differently- they didn’t treat me bad but they favored her.”… Within the African American culture she calls this “colorism” which comes from colonial times and slavey when people felt they had more opportunities if they were lighter: “But I never had a color complex because my mother and father were so good about reinforcing that I was beautiful and important.”
Has she experienced racism? “Oh absolutely; if you think about this country, it was built on genocide- racism has always been part of America.”… She began experiencing racism as a young girl in school where her work was often questioned: “Once in history class I noticed the shapes of certain countries looked like they could fit together, so I asked my white teacher if they were ever together in the past and she said: ‘Nope, nope- you people think you know everything.’… She never said black, but I was like ‘WOW’; so it was in school that I realized being black had consequences.”
As an adult, Stephanie has faced racism professionally (discrimination in hiring and racial slurs) and in daily life: “I recently went to eat near work; the waitress asked if I work around here and I said ‘yes (excitedly), I work at AAMP’- she said: ‘Awesome, that’s great!’… Three white women at a nearby table: ‘Do you think Trump will shut down the African American Museum, I bet he will’, they all laughed: ‘We should definitely visit before it closes’, and they laughed again looking in my direction… I decided not to engage; I choose my battles and this was not important- I wouldn’t let them get to me.”
When she experiences racism: “I feel anger in my belly- it just sinks and it feels terrible.”
Her emotion towards racists: “I feel sorry for them; in order to hate someone for absolutely no reason, it speaks to what they feel about themselves and they’re channeling that towards me; I’m sad for them, not angry… though I can get angry.”
Stephanie's advice to people who experience racism: “Racism exists and don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise; find power in your own voice and speak out because not speaking out doesn't help you or anyone else, whether or not the offender knew they were offending you- even though the first time you speak out your voice will quiver… And find a safe place that reinforces you and your importance.”
*****
Mr. Broderick Green
Peer Support Specialist
Depaul USA
Broderick Green (47) resists racism by resisting racists: “Unless you’re trying to physically hurt me with your racism, it’s just a bunch of words.”… Broderick is pictured sitting proudly in his office at St. Raymond’s House (permanent housing for people who have been homeless and have chronic health conditions)- this is a remarkable achievement considering that just a few years ago he was living in shelters and suffering from addiction.
Broderick’s first experience with skin color came at 9 years old: “My godmother was white- my mom worked at her bar… My godmother lived in a different location so she needed someone to look after the business- my mom did that and they became good friends and she sorta adopted me as her godchild… I would go to her house on weekends which was in a white area- that was my ‘wow I don't see anyone like me moment’; it was a little scary, but I just felt safe with my godmother.”
Broderick had an experience he calls traumatic: “As kids we used to go roller-skating, but the rink was in a white neighborhood… One night we were standing at the bus stop and people were riding by saying really nasty things to us and they actually chased us- I was 15-16… That’s when I experienced the physical negative part since someone could hurt me; I wondered what the world would be like if slavery came back.”
As he grew up, Broderick gained a position of strength: “I stood up for my rights- I became strengthened because no one has the right to tell me I can’t achieve; I realized that as long as I put my heart and dedication into something, nine out of ten times I will be rewarded for it… In the field I’m in there is no discrimination- no one is better than anyone else.”
Today Broderick is not bothered very much by racism, though he does get followed in certain stores... In no way does he see racism as playing a role in the life challenges he’s had: “I’m not going to say that everything that doesn’t happen for me is because of racism; unless they jump out in front of me with sheets over their heads, I’m not going to allow what they say to stop me; and that’s exactly what I tried to tell people when I was growing up- stop saying the white man is holding you back… Especially in this day and age- we had a black president… Racism does exist, but we’re stronger- so if we can’t go through it, we go around it.”
When he experiences racism: “I feel imposed on and I feel sad because they don’t know me; they don’t know that I like to make people laugh; they don’t know that I like to help people in their time of need… So they’re losing out because they don’t know me.”
His emotion towards racists: “I feel sorry for them because they’re cheated out of getting to know a group of people- they don't even know what we have to offer.”
Broderick's challenge to the racist: “Can you give me reasons why you feel this way; can you come up with any valid points to have this hatred in your heart against me… If you can sit across the table from me and validate the way you feel after knowing me for only one hour, then maybe you have an argument.”
*****
Mr. Gerald Lockhart
Program Counselor
Depaul USA
Gerald Lockhart (64) resists racism by balancing confrontation with caution: “I don’t back down- if I were stopped by the police I would say ‘yes sir no sir’ but would confront it if they came at me wrong- I’m not going to accept it; but if I had my grandkids or wife in the car I would act a little differently- I learned from my father that his primary concern was that no harm would come to the family.”… Gerald is pictured standing outside his beloved Depaul House (a transitional housing program for homeless men) beaming with pride at the latest group of graduates he nurtured to full time jobs and stable housing- he tells them: "You have success written on you!"
Gerald’s first experience with racism was as a child on road trips with the family: “My father loved to drive so we would take trips all over the country; I remember being called the 'N-word’ down South; I remember him being denied hotels so we slept in the car; I caught the tail end of ‘colored signs’ on water fountains.”
As a child in Philadelphia Gerald didn't experience much racism- he had black and white friends, but his views changed: “I got radicalized in high school; there was the upheaval in the 60’s- the assignations; I gravitated to militant groups like the Black Panthers and Black Muslims… At one point I thought integration wasn't possible- that blacks were better off forming their own nation.”
But amazingly, his views changed again when Affirmative Action sent him to college: “It had four thousand students but just thirty three blacks!… The first year or two I was still pretty radical, but then I started having questions: ‘Are all white people evil, are they all screwed up, or are there good ones’; then I had to look at my race: ‘Are all black people good- there are some bad apples’… I started to interact positively with whites, and had some professors who bent over backwards- they welcomed blacks, they wanted diversity, and they were curious; I was mentored by white professors and actually taken to their homes to meet their wives and kids- so my thinking changed… That’s what I tell men at Depaul House: ‘When you start interacting with people, you expand your horizons’.”
Gerald doesn't experience racism in his field and he lives in a very diverse neighborhood, though he is cautious about driving in white areas late at night: “I’m not thinking about racism all the time, but I’m always prepared- I’m not naive; America is full of hypocrisy and broken promises; from an historical perspective we know there is institutional and structural racism.”
When he experiences racism: “My father taught us: ‘Pick and choose your battles; there are a lot of racist and intolerant people in the world and your best move is to walk away from them’, and that’s what I practice."
His emotion towards racists: "I felt defiant towards my white high school guidance counselor who didn’t think I was college material; in some weird way she did me a good turn because it motivated me- she got me on a new path by telling me what I couldn't be.” What Gerald “could be” was a coach: “I help people make positive changes to overcome the dreaded situation of homelessness.”
Gerald's realization that there is a way to heal: “The problem with racism is there’s not a lot of racial contact... In your own group you have stereotyped fearful ideas; but when I started interacting, my belief system was shattered- I can’t lump all white people together… Look at all those folks at college bending over backwards, going into their pockets to make sure I had food: ‘Are you having problems in your classes; do you want to be tutored; here’s a work study project for you; here’s some grant money- what do you need?’… And I go home and black people are saying: ‘Why are you going to college- you’re wasting your time’… That opened my eyes.”
*****
*****
Ms. Stephanie Michel
Director
North Fifth Street Revitalization Project
Stephanie Michel (pronounced “mi-shel” ) (29) resists racism by being kind: “If I experience it in a store and I feel like someone is being rude because of the color of my skin, I’ll say: ‘Thank you- have a great day’; if someone is ringing me up and I’m getting looks, I’ll start a conversation: ‘How’s your day going?’”… She is passionate about her professional role: supporting the Olney section of Philadelphia to be a clean, safe, prosperous community… Stephanie is pictured at her other passion: “Open Mike”, a monthly gathering she leads that offers members of the community the opportunity to sing a song, tell a story, or recite a poem as she is doing here.
Stephanie is the daughter of Haitian immigrants who moved to the Lawncrest section of Philadelphia around 2000: “Race played a positive role because it was so welcoming and very diverse; it wasn’t like other areas that were completely black or completely white- it was a beautiful mix of Italian, Polish, Puerto Rican, and African American.”
She became aware of skin color in her own community: “I was fair skinned when I was born, but when I started to get darker, adult women said: ‘Oh no, you’re getting dark- you need to use creams so you don’t lose that light skinned look’; in my early teens I did try to get that look back… But then I realized this is what I’m supposed to look like, but it was such a disappointment to certain adults in our immediate and extended families… It made me very insecure and I realized that darker people are not deemed beautiful, are less liked, and that translates to fewer advantages… It’s a hard lesson the learn at a young age.”
Stephanie’s defining moment about race came when she went to a predominantly white college: “I was 18; before that my friends were of all races and nationalities; I never had any issues, so everything leading up to college made me think racism was something that happened in the past; it never crossed my mind that the college was predominantly white because I hadn’t experienced discrimination growing up- this was a life altering experience; it was the way we were treated by students who had never been around people of another culture… This experience made me realize racism still exists and that things weren't as they seemed to me before college.”
As an adult she experiences racism in subtle ways: “But it’s not that much because I choose my own space and company.” Professionally she sometimes feels disregarded by clients and sees a preference for white people in terms of advancement- this is compounded by the fact she is a woman… And she has a general level of discomfort: “I worry about my brother when he goes on road trips: ‘Text me when you get there’; I’m looking to move to an area that happens to be predominantly white, but when I go there I have a sense that I’m not welcome.”
When she experiences racism: “I feel so many different emotions at once: anger immediately, then sadness, disappointment- it can either go to hope and being kind, or vengeful and angry.”
Her emotion towards racists: “I feel disappointed in that person that they are stuck in this mindset of ‘white-is-right’… I’m just disappointed all around.”
Stephanie's heartfelt message to the racist: “I’m just like you- we’re both people, we both bleed, we both cry for sad moments, we both love people in our lives… At the core of who we are, we are both humans regardless of the color of our skin- my color doesn't make me any less human… We ARE both the same.”
*****
*****
Mr. Bill Vargus (aka Billy V)
Real Estate Investor
Proper Properties, Inc.
Former Emmy Winning Television Sports Anchor
Bill Vargus (60) resists racism by owning his own business: “The key to escaping racism that exists in corporate America is to have your own business and be your own boss, so after years in the media, that’s why I started my own real estate business; I like the fact that I don’t have people yelling at me for who I am, that I can grow my beard and wear my earrings, and that I can be who I want to be.” His business: “Turning plain houses into beautifully remodeled living spaces.”… Bill is pictured as host at the annual “Knock Out Homelessness” fundraiser for “One Step Away”, Philadelphia’s newspaper dedicated to ending homelessness and joblessness- one of Bill’s many charitable activities.
Bill has a unique view of racism- he is the biracial son of a black mother and white father: “I always knew they looked different but they were just mom and dad… The first time I had to deal with skin color was in camp at 7-8; a white kid started yelling at me: ’You’re black, you’re ugly- you can’t even tell when you skin is dirty’.”… Bill identifies as African American: “When you’re biracial, everyone sees you as African American.”
His most significant experience with racism came during three years as a TV sports anchor in upstate New York. As he described it, he was hired as a token, but was tortured constantly until he could no longer take it: “When I got there they had been #2 in the ratings for twenty-five years; viewer research showed it was because of me they made it to #1, yet management continually screamed at me and undermined me at every opportunity; in fact, I believe the stress of this racism caused me to have a cardiac event at work; after I left, their ratings fell to #3 in a three station town"… Bill’s TV experience after returning to Philadelphia was "a thousand times better".
Bill suffered an even deeper impact due to racism: “After my parents divorced when I was 6, I never saw my white paternal grandparents again because they broke all ties; that’s the deepest hurt because they’re my own flesh and blood- that side of my family is gone; but I was embraced by my black family- nobody could have been more loving.” This is another reason he identifies as African American.
He offered an insight about the role of racism in African American culture: “Racism is part of our identity… We had a family reunion one year and I did a play about our family; so much of it was about what our ancestors had done to overcome racism- my grandmother was one of the first black woman to go to law school in Boston, my grandfather was a colonel in WWI and became acting commanding officer of his infantry regiment in France, and my mother earned a Ph.D. and became the first African American to hold the title of academic dean at Temple University… Racism defines our mission as African Americans- it hopefully brings us together to wipe racism out forever… I stand on the shoulders of people who fought against racism, specifically people in my family like my mother and grandmother, and all those people who stood up during the civil rights movement and put their lives on the line.”
When he experiences racism: “I feel anger and frustration- I made that station #1 in the ratings and it didn't matter- they kept making my life miserable… That’s the amazing thing about racism- people will hurt themselves in order to hurt somebody else.”
His emotion towards racists: “I hate racism but I try not to hate any human being… But I do think African Americans are a little too quick to forgive… After the Charleston church massacre, everybody in the church forgave the shooter- I want to see his ‘a..’ fry.”
Bill's lifelong defense mechanism: “In my daily life it’s hard to know the difference between perception and reality… From the time I was a kid I never pick up an item in a store and go toward the door even if the counter is near the door- I’ll circle around back behind something to go to the counter; I won’t go towards the door because someone’s going to immediately think I’m going to steal… Now, is that really the case or is it something I’ve carried around with me for my whole life?”
*****
Dr. Ione Vargus (aka Billy V’s Mom)
Professor and Dean Emerita
Temple University
Ione (pronounced “i-oan” ) Vargus, Ph.D. (86) resists racism by not allowing it to get in her way: “People from the South would visit us in Medford, Mass. because my father was a colonel in the army; doctors would brag they only saw black patients due to segregation whereas in Boston, doctors had to treat everyone… That really struck me and I decided- I was not going to let racism get in my way at all”; this 8 year old’s mantra carried her to a life of outstanding achievement… Ione is pictured beaming with pride at her family, a beautiful biracial mix that welcomes all hues.
Ione grew up in a large, highly educated family: “We didn't think much about skin color because Medford was so diverse in those days…We didn’t focus on skin hue either, but some people did and I thought it was terrible; I went to a camp where I was darker than the other African American girls; when I told them my father was a colonel, they didn’t believe it: ‘He couldn't rise that high with such dark skin’.” But her family members were remarkable in how high they did rise.
Her son Bill Vargus: “My mother is so unusual- she married a white man and has nothing against white people; she encouraged me many years later when I married a white woman… But she is so focused on African culture; she was heavily involved on the 60’s; she was the negotiator at Brandeis when African American students took over a building; she was always Afro-centric; she took my sister and me to class to learn Swahili; she told us: ‘Be proud of our culture’… She is able to be that person who is very proud of her African ancestry and her black skin without having any animosity towards white people.”… When asked to comment, she said: “That’s the way we were raised.”
Ione’s most significant experiences with racism were career related: “Everyone in my family had a hard time getting jobs, but my mother said we shouldn’t feel doomed by race- that we could succeed in spite of all the racism, and we did.”… Of the denials she received, one particularly stands out: “In 1953 I was denied an internship when I was working on my masters- I wanted to be in the school system to train social workers; I’ll never forget when my professor told me: ‘I’m sorry, but you can't get an internship in a school because you’re black’- in those days they could tell you; my professor cried because she had escaped the Nazis and she felt my pain- I named my daughter Suzanne after her!”… Ultimately race played a positive role when Ione was offered a job as Associate Dean at Temple University in the school of social work: “I was one of only fourteen black women in the country with a doctorate and the Dean was quite open about why he hired me.” She was the first African American and the first woman academic Dean at Temple. She ultimately served as Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education.
When she experiences racism: “I would be angry, but it’s not real anger- I tend to get hurt… But we all had the attitude to stay strong and go forward.”
Her emotion towards racists: “Disgusted.”… Today Ione lives comfortably in a largely white retirement community- her apartment is filled with African art and artifacts; she has many friends and rarely experiences racism: “But I read about racism and talk about it a lot.”
Ione's fascination with the way things can change- for the better: “I find it so interesting how my family was rewarded after all the racism they experienced: My father Edward Dugger couldn’t fight in WW1 with white soldiers because of his race, but in 1939 Medford named Dugger Park after him… My brother Edward Dugger, Jr. was a track star and after getting an engineering degree at Tufts, he couldn’t get a job because of his race, but after he died an auditorium was named for him at Wright Patterson Air Force Base where he ultimately worked and a plaque was dedicated to him at Tufts in 1990… Two of my sisters were not permitted to teach in Medford because of their race, but The Madeleine Dugger Andrews Middle School was constructed in 2000… My mother Madeleine Mabray Kountze Dugger-Kelly, who became a lawyer in 1931, had many challenges including being unsuccessful at getting her daughters hired as teachers in Medford, but she became the first African American ‘Mother of the Year’ in Massachusetts and received a Martin Luther King Award in 1988.”
Ione's fascination with the way things can change- for the better: “I find it so interesting how my family was rewarded after all the racism they experienced: My father Edward Dugger couldn’t fight in WW1 with white soldiers because of his race, but in 1939 Medford named Dugger Park after him… My brother Edward Dugger, Jr. was a track star and after getting an engineering degree at Tufts, he couldn’t get a job because of his race, but after he died an auditorium was named for him at Wright Patterson Air Force Base where he ultimately worked and a plaque was dedicated to him at Tufts in 1990… Two of my sisters were not permitted to teach in Medford because of their race, but The Madeleine Dugger Andrews Middle School was constructed in 2000… My mother Madeleine Mabray Kountze Dugger-Kelly, who became a lawyer in 1931, had many challenges including being unsuccessful at getting her daughters hired as teachers in Medford, but she became the first African American ‘Mother of the Year’ in Massachusetts and received a Martin Luther King Award in 1988.”
*****
Ms. Maria James
Vendor
One Step Away
Maria James (54) resists racism by being herself: “I don't let it bother me; if something doesn't work out, maybe it wasn't meant to be even though I have as much right as anyone else; I’ll stand up for myself, but I won't push it too hard.”… Maria is pictured “making the sale.” After years of homelessness, Maria has been selling “One Step Away” newspapers in Philadelphia for four years- this enables her to be independent and to educate the public about homelessness and joblessness: "'One Step Away' helps everybody.”
She learned what it means to be black at only 5: “My first experience with race was having to get to the back of the bus; I thought it wasn't fair to be separated because of our color; but I didn't feel hate or anger- that’s not how I was brought up; my family was very mixed and we were always encouraged to be friends with different types of people.”
Maria learned about skin color and hue just a few years later: “My sister’s biological father is Mexican- she has an olive complexion and long black hair; we love each other equally… At 8 years old a neighbor said to me: ‘I want to know why you’re so dark and your hair is so short and nappy and your sister is so pretty and light skinned with long beautiful hair’; my sister told him we came from the same womb- she cussed him out and said: ‘Don’t talk about my sister like that!'" Being defended for who she is was a lesson she repeated just a few years later.
At 12 years old in the seventh grade, white kids were being bused to her predominantly black school: “When I became best friends with a white girl, my black friends didn’t like it and even threatened to harm her; I wouldn't have any part of that; I didn't want anything to do with people who would show such prejudice.” Defending a white friend against her black friends was very courageous. She exemplifies the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King- Maria’s character is to judge people "by the content of their character", not "by the color of their skin".
When she experiences racism: “I get sad and angry… It makes me feel like I have to be ready for any situation that comes my way because I don’t know what might happen; some people are quiet about it and some are right out there and forward about it.”
Her emotion towards racists: “I don't pass judgement on them, but I look at them as being ignorant; it’s rude to go around doing that to people: ‘Anyone that’s black or has a darker complexion can’t come over here- let’s separate them; we’ll treat them one way and treat other people a different way; you can’t do this or that because of your color; these people have to pay more rent because they’re black’… Just because a person is black doesn't mean they’re any less of a human being.”
Maria's explanation of her courage to defend a white friend: “It's the way I was brought up- I didn't feel those negative feelings in my heart… My family was mixed and as a child we had so many white friends and we hung out all the time; I wasn't used to all that separation… My mom always said: ‘Don't come in here with one category of people’, she wanted me to have diverse friends.”
*****
Definition of Racism
I asked each person to define racism in a new way- from the perspective of the recipient. They offered many words and thoughts which can be summarized:
Racism is:
- Loss of humanity
- Pressure that’s always there- omnipresent and pervasive
- Always prepared- questioning everything and everyone, especially white people
- Feel sadness, anger, frustration, shame
- Less opportunity
- Increased illness (such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease) and reduced life expectancy
One statement captured the feeling of racism in a powerful and poetic way:
“Racism is a big ball of hate coming in my direction that I cannot sidestep or avoid, and which I’ve done nothing to earn.” Bill Vargus
*****
Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
I began this project in hopes to better understand how racism impacts African Americans. I’m honored that these eight people were willing to share their personal stories which have helped me a great deal and I hope will do the same for readers.
These personal stories made me think about how I would feel if I had to wonder what a police officer might say when I’m stopped for the third time this year, or if I had to avoid places particularly at night for fear of standing out, or if I had to look over my shoulder when I’m in a store to see if I’m being followed, or if I had to feel those awful stares or words of disapproval. This is much more subtle than acts of violence many African Americans have endured and still endure. This form of racism is like a drip-drip of acid on the skin which eventually opens a wound that is never allowed to heal.
Several points come through loud and clear:
- Every African American experiences racism in their own way- for some it’s constant, for some it’s less. The only way to know a person’s story is to ask and then listen generously. Each of the people in this photo essay has found their own way to overcome.
- Racism is a burden most white people never experience. Some might disagree, but I don't see this as white privilege. Rather it’s being free of the disadvantages that have been wired into the African American experience. It creates fear and suspicion even when those challenges are imagined. This is a heavy burden to carry even if people don’t show it.
- Perhaps the best way to resist racism, or any “ism” for that matter, is to make friends with people who are different. When you've heard a person’s story, shared your story, had some laughs, had a meal together, differences seem to melt away. Each new friend is like a drip-drip, but rather than acid, it’s a cleanser which eventually washes away misconceptions and fear.
I observed people of difference coming together in two previous photo essays. There were the “Bikers for Trump” and the “Feminist Majority” who, despite their differences, shared a light moment in the photo essay: “Women’s March on Washington: Intoxicating”.
And there was the interfaith session that brought Muslim and Episcopalian teens together for mutual learning and fun in the photo essay: “Muslims: A Well Kept Secret”.
We all know “making friends makes the difference”- we just have to do it!
Statements worth repeating:
About racism:
- “Racism is a big ball of hate coming in my direction that I cannot sidestep or avoid, and which I’ve done nothing to earn.” Bill Vargus
- “It’s like experiencing the death of a loved one; it’s the death of an opportunity for me to interact in a positive way with whatever individual or institution was involved- it makes me sick and angry inside.” Ivan Henderson
- “I feel sorry for them; in order to hate someone for absolutely no reason, it speaks to what they feel about themselves and they’re channeling that towards me; I’m sad for them, not angry… though I can get angry.” Stephanie Cunningham
- “Can you give me reasons why you feel this way; can you come up with any valid points to have this hatred in your heart against me… If you can sit across the table from me and validate the way you feel after knowing me for only one hour, then maybe you have an argument.” Broderick Green... Can anyone sit across the table from the people in this story and see anything that validates hatred?
About us:
- “I’m just like you- we’re both people, we both bleed, we both cry for sad moments, we both love people in our lives… At the core of who we are, we are both humans regardless of the color of our skin- my color doesn't make me any less human… We ARE both the same.” Stephanie Michel
- “Everyone in my family had a hard time getting jobs, but my mother said we shouldn’t feel doomed by race- that we could succeed in spite of all the racism, and we did.” Ione Vargus
- “When I became best friends with a white girl, my black friends didn’t like it and even threatened to harm her; I wouldn't have any part of that; I didn't want anything to do with people who would show such prejudice.” Maria James
About healing:
- “The problem with racism is there’s not a lot of racial contact... In your own group you have stereotyped fearful ideas; but when I started interacting, my belief system was shattered- I can’t lump all white people together.” Gerald Lockhart
- “Making friends makes the difference.”
This has been such a great learning experience. Many thanks to the people who shared their personal stories and to the African American Museum in Philadelphia (AAMP) for the Amplify symposium: the story-within-the-story became this story.
I'd love to hear reader's thoughts about this photo essay. Go to "Contact" under the "More" tab at the top of the page and send me a note. I'll post comments anonymously.
End
Published July 4, 2017
Published July 4, 2017
Comments
- "I enjoyed your work on racism. I would love to hear stories from youth experiencing racism in predominately non-minority schools. The sad stories my daughter shares daily would make you cry and should make US change."
- "I loved your essay on Racism: Personal Stories. I am a 63 yr. old white woman. It really helps to hear these stories and I would love to hear even more. Too many whites bury their heads and think enough has been done to wipe out racism. It's just not the case, Charlottesville being the case in point. I've recently been in a heated exchange with my sister on FB over Trump's response. She doesn't get it or is too stubborn a Republican to except the truth. What I'm about to say might seem strange but, I want to say it anyway. This is a confession and I don't know if any good would come from it. I'm wondering if it could start a dialogue from the other side. When I was 5-6 and small enough to jump around on the back seat of our station wagon, my father had left us (maybe a friend or sister) in the car while he went in to the hardware store. We saw an older black man walk by. We shouted "N-word" and hid down in the seat, thinking we were being funny. I will never ever forget the painful look on that man's face. This would have been in the late 1950's in a small backwards town of Virginia. No doubt I'd heard that word at home. I don't remember it being said pervasively but enough to understand it was negative. I hope the look on his face is what shaped me to be the person I am today. I still make mistakes. Thank you for helping to further educate me and others with these personal stories of racism. Please please continue to bring us together."